Another one bites the dust…

I think it’s been long enough that I can finally write something about this and not feel upset in the process but I’ll try to keep this as short as possible…

My most recent boyfriend and I broke up… It was inevitable that we would at that point. We were  fighting constantly and it seemed like it was the same fight over and over again. Essentially I was being asked to choose between relationship and career or relationship and life experiences and milestones like living alone before moving in with a significant other or traveling if the opportunity presented itself. At the end of the day I should NEVER have to choose between a relationship and other priorities in my life. If I’m with the right person then they should be supportive and understanding of any choices I make or need to make for myself.

Relationships are most definitely about give and take and in this past one  it felt like I was giving a lot more then receiving. I felt like although he made a huge gesture in staying in town after school for me (he wasn’t from here) that it seemed to overshadowed ALL the things I was doing for him on a daily basis. I didn’t feel appreciated. I felt like he wanted my help and asked for it but the second I tried to suggest something or do something for him he shot me down and that anything I did was wrong.

  • If you are going to ask for help, you should be receptive of it, otherwise don’t ask or I won’t offer anymore.
  • I tried to help him find a job; all my suggestions were not things he wanted to do.
  • I drove him around whenever I could ( he had a license but no car; he couldn’t seem to meet me halfway except maybe once.
  • I never once said he had to get a big paying job or that he even had to stay in Ottawa if he wasn’t the right decision for him; he kept retorting back that maybe I don’t know what was right for him.
  • I never wanted to force him into anything he didn’t want to do and ever suggested that if he had to go back home or find a job elsewhere that it didn’t mean breaking up right away but we would talk about our options as a couple if and when that  scenario arose; he wanted immediate answers…

Bottom line, he made me feel like I was a bad girlfriend and that I never did anything right, and I have never felt that way before with anyone else. It wasn’t a good relationship in the end and I’m sorry about that. I really am because he is a good guy and I don’t want to bad mouth him, but we just weren’t working out and it wasn’t the right relationship for me. We ultimately wanted different things and that’s ok.

Since the break-up, however, he can’t seem to let go and keeps messaging me and is all over the place in what he is saying. It’s gotten to the  point  where I’ve had to take measures that I haven’t taken before. I won’t go into detail but it’s unfortunate that it has come to that, because I did want to try to be friends.  I rarely regret things in life, I really try to live without regrets, but the way he is currently acting, is making me regret being with him. I don’t even regret being with the ass of a boyfriend that I was with three years ago because he hasn’t been harassing me and bombarding me like this…. I never thought it would come to this. It started off really great.. just ended really badly I guess.

In the end, I’m ok, I’m fine, I always am! I’m a strong, independent woman and I know what I want and what I don’t.  I’m going to do great things with my life and meet great people along the way. Hopefully one day, even someday soon, I can meet the perfect man for me… someone who is strong (mentally and physically would be nice:P), independent, well educated, caring, compassionate, kind, understanding, supportive, outgoing, career drive, family and friend oriented, outdoors loving, music enthusiast, movie  goer extraordinaire, book manic.. and so much more. I do hope that one day he finds someone for him to. I do want him to be happy in the end. I just want the best for both of us and anyone else in my life that I care about. Good karma I guess 🙂